i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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