I will die if light touches me.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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