Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
