just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize