I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
