just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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