I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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