Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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