I think i peed on brittanys purse
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
