And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
