Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
