And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
