If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
