Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
