If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
