I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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