what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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