the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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