Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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