their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
