How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
