I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
