I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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