She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
