my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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