careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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