There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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