K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
