Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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