Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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