How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
