I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
