i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
