mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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