4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
