Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
