I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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