so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
