that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
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She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
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We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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