How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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