well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
