i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
