Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
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I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
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Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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