I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
