all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
