I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize