your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize