Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
