I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
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its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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