this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
ttyl tear gas
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
