How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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