I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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