Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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