Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize