did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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