You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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